For Ever Alone And Happy

Tanhai Hamari Shiddat se hai hamey Pyari,
Zikr Nikah ka chalta raha,
Majnoo aatey gaye......aagey nikal gaye,
Hasinayein aur bhi theen.......

In the journey of Pride & Prejudice comes the ghastly end of dreams, staring you at the mirror called Life. Desires of a thousand miles, dreams touching the sky and am still stuck!!

Marsha Collier got proposed #willyoumarryme on twitter admist millions of tweeps. It was a blast furnace scenario for others...........bruaha ha ha. Ran from facebook to take refuge in twitter......but little birdy turned nasty.From being abused by Right wing Trolls towards Secular tweets.....to being hit upon by unchained lovers on the loose. Twitter can be both nasty & hilarious at times.

But last night was unbearable......everybody was talking about Love Shuv te marriage.........please spare a thought about we Singles you nasty lots. Jawani tho MBBS karte guzar gayi...........baki bachi kuchi MD/MD seat ki talaash mein kat rahi hai.
Now where do we Singles take refuge..........deactivated account!!

Men who seemed aloft, humorous, mast maula types, but are suprisingly caring , sweet and respectful towards the one woman, what are they called?
Breeds who eye every other woman right in front of your nose and still show immense effection towards You........can confuse any woman.
What do i label them as........ Geeks on the Loose or Lovers on the prowl (LP)

Where can i find my Sikander, A man whose virtue is governed by his deeds and not by his impulses, urgues and greed. I thought i've found him........not literally but to some extent.

Repeating again Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus........Mars being still explored and Venus twinkling brightly.
Saale Kutte Zindagi bhar exploring hi karte rehte hain...........kabhi Angel pie to kabhi Chikni to kabhi Juicey.........and Venus bechari twinkling gaze banke rehjati hai.

Few Venus are to be blamed though to attract The Geeks on prowl..........by right left centre "autumm" poses, with inches of concealer on to look chikni. Pep talks, love quotes & uninhibited.........attract Mars. Aur Doggy bhow bhow karte nikal letey hain.

Sikander is every girls fantacy, a one woman only man, Rajjo's  Pandeyji..............In reality its a mirage.

Aadmi bulbula hai paani ka, kya pata zindagani ka.

When the bubble breaks its a hell of a nightmare.........sleepless nights, missed hours, morning blues, skipped meals..........is all of it worth for some Loose Geeks?? But still women are surprisingly attracted towards adulterous Shreks.

No wonder decent men remain waiting in the line............
Contemplating to give a try to the ordinarily smart favourite guy! Favourite guy, everybody's pal , smiling, witty, smart yet is the boy next door. He's neither popular nor fame frenzy but works up his ladder. They can be called Sikander?? hmmmm...........dont know.

Here they are the "Ring Agents". Nope! they are'nt circus geeks but very honourable Mummy ka beta's. Propose you at the drop of a hat!!
"Swamy" start it with #willyoumarryme, just to be taken aback. What the heck.........jaan na pehchan aap hamare phooldaan!! "Swamy" try to make up your mind telling "We will know each other in due course".

So do women get lured into #willyoumarryme hashtag. A man with long term relationship on the card, can be trusted upon. He eye's your companionship and not the glamourous youth.
But wants you to change for him, give up your identity to be his Mrs Perfect.
Can he be called Sikander!.......hmmm.........??

Where can i find my Sikander..........
Sigh* I can never find him. He's not in my best buddy..........he's not in my Mr Perfect, he's nowhere.
Sikander is a myth.........

Decent, introvert, committed girls are looked upon as Chaadar mein lipti hui Devi........fit to be respected!! Irony!
Deviyon ke bhi Devtayai hai yar.........
Mandir mein Devi ke Saath Devta ko bhi pooja jaata hai.......

Aashnaai thi tumse aye dost par koi Khuloos nahi tha,
Do chaar baatein thi magar Dil manoos nahi tha,
Hasinayein tumhe raas ayi, Hum akele Safar-e-Veeraan tay kar gaye

Woh Humsafar Tha

 My favorite ghazal that stirs soul and haunts.........

"Tark-e-taaluqaat pe roya na tu, na main

Lekin yeh kya ke chain se soya na tu, na main..

Woh humsafar tha magar ussey humnawaayi na thi

Ke dhoop chhaon ka alam raha, judaayi na thi...

Na apna ranj na auron ka dukh, na tera malal,

Shab-e-firaq kabhi humne yun gawaayi na thi...

Mohabbaton ka safar is tarah bhi guzra tha,

Shikasta dil thay musaafir shikasta paayi na thi..

Adaawatein theen, taghaful tha, ranjishein theen,

Bicharhnay walay mein sab kuch tha, bewafaayi na thi...

Bicharthay waqt un aakhon mein thi humari ghazal,

Ghazal bhi woh jo kisi ko abhi sunaayi na thi..

Kise pukaar raha tha woh doobta hua din,

Sada to aai thi lekin koi duhaai na thi...

Kabhi yeh haal keh donon main yakdili thi bohat,

Kabhi yeh marhala jaise keh aashnayi na thi..

Ajeeb hoti hai rah-e sukhan Naseer,

Wahan bhi aa gaye akhir jahan rasayi na thi."

-Naseer Turabi

Shaadi.com fossils

Hmm.......... funny as it may sound to you, but yes these are a few fossils from my shaadi cupboard. Or rather chronicles but i prefer fossils (why give them the credit of being chronicalized).

From being put up on website to the shaadi forums and now back to shaadi ram ghar jodey (photo biodata wale uncle)...............my mom is straining her achiles to the limits. And putri dear has her own permutations and combinations.

This funny incidence was the earliest of my shaadi quest memories but is quite interesting that i could never ever forget it......and maybe become my future child's bedtime story too..............

From the numerous friends that my dear dad has, came Mr handsome uncle who has an air about his medico sons...........ok ok uncleji chane ke jhaad pe hamesha latke rehte hai.............he decided that both the families meet over coffee.

Mom: haan photo to bahut acchi hai.............dekho

Me: ok handsome hai par apron(he's a doc) mein kyun kheenchi hai.............

Mom: khamosh ladki......har cheez mein nuskh nikalti hai............

Me: ok kab jana hai...........(from fear of being clipped).

Mom: tomorrow and be at your best............

And we decided to meet in the cool evening.......mom wore her best salwar kameez(sari would be kinda reserved look).........hmmm...........after her long long prayers......she blew some air over my face (verses to become attractive, he he he......am bewitched now).

Me: chuckles...........

Mom: enough all this is important........and for your own good......... what are you gonna wear........

Me: any dress.......if he s gonna like me he'll like me in crap too........

Skipping the long no's to all my salwar suits we decided rather mom on one......finally.

Dad was walking ahead in the restaurant gateway, mom and i following him.

Me: wondering if i could catch a glimpse of Mr radiologist (did'nt i mention ,yes he's radiologist)............

Just as we were strolling ,dad smiled.....here was a tall, fair man with smiling glee face.....all and all a cheerful figure..........

Just as i thought, haan ye papa hai, jab ye itne acche hai to beta bhi.........hmmm........interesting....dad ne ek kam to accha kiya....

Mom: chalo chodo beta kahan hai.....hain ladka kahan haiji.....ajeee sun rahe ho.....

Dad: Aa raha hoga....

Me: shocked, panting, dumbfounded..........mummy!!!!
For those of you thinking, i was just bewitched by akshay kumar or salman khan personified into one handsome TDH (tall, dark n handsome).............am gonna break the bubble......

Mom: na woh nahin hai......peon hoga......nah!!

Me: Nai mummy wohi hai......

Mom: tawbah tawbah.....nahi..........ladka aaraha hoga.......

Me: dad where is he......

Dad: shaayad yahi hai...........merely audible........

Me: mummy yahi hai.......

Mom: Oh!!!!! no ,we are leaving from here.........tawbah!!!!!!!!!

Me: (chuckles) no that would be rude..........ab saara khana uncleji khajate hain to..............he he he

Mom: no we are not going inside........no.........boodey ko hamari hatti katti ladki nahi dikhi kai........

Chalo i will clear the suspense........the entire evening we had many permutations and combinations.......radiologist....hmm........great.....(my best friend) and handsome too....ek haath mein laddo aur doosre mein me rasgolla......oiye oiye........

Me: par banda bhi sahi hona chahiye na......

Banda sahi sahi nikhla, kahan laddoo , kahan rasgolla, bas laddoo ki boondii ,rasgolla ka chhena haath malne ke liye rehgaya..........laddooo to door door tak nahin nazar aaraha tha aur ras kitabon ki dimak chaat gayi............
In short ladka Choosa hua Aam (CA) tha!!!!!...........

Me, hatti katti......desi kudi......khate pitey khandan ki ek lauti beti.........

And here's Mr CA.......whose waistline i could never match up with......hmmm......saalon ke dieting ka asar lagta hai......his slender figure....i could never attain in lifetime.........aerobics ka kamaal (bas air bacha hai)........the versatile gait........ha ha ha......i cannot attempt but fail miserably........

Me: chuckles.......no, we are going in and putting up a smiling face ok.......please mom......they'll be disheartened.....na dad.
Whatever it is.......its just gonna be in my blog.....never on bechara's face........am quite mature haan!!!!!

Dad: saving his face......haan.....please andar chalo.....

Mom, still refusing to come in.......doorman.......tired of holding the door ......
And finally we sat across the table......

Uncleji: please help yourself......
We in unison..... no thanks please.....
He ordered some thing.............

Uncleji: (very intelligent haan) beta has always been studying, excelling all along and now staying in hostel.....isliye patla hogaya hai......

Me: chuckles......hmm.....

Uncleji: hostel food and calcutta diet does'nt suit him.........(glances at all our faces)...
Expecting some reassurance.......

Mom, stern as rock.....

Me: hmmmm..........(kaash aapne cerelac khilaya hota....amul atturely butterly delicious chakhaya hota....chalo chhodo ab koi faida nahi).

Mr CA: I did my Mbbs from blah blah blah......and then went on to........blah blah......(bechara was selling his degrees rather than him)......

Me: hmmm.......(muh mein zubaan tho hai)

Mr CA: what are your future plans......to study further....

Me: (ab to juice stall hi kholna badega).....composing myself.........uttered my longlist of plans......with a smile of course.....

Mr CA: my hobbies are blah blah blah...........(janab khelte koodte bhi hai, haan......glucon-D ka kamaal lagta hai ya hamdard ka tonic "Cinkara").

Me: I love to write.......no way mad or what am not gonna utter about my blog......please.

Mr CA : aapko agar kuch poochna hai to pooch lijiye, am leaving tomorrow morn......

Me: hmmm........hiding chuckles behind cute smile......and you think am gonna have some more doubts.....heights......

Dad: (be my saviour please) we will call you........accha bye....
pleasantries exchanged......

Mom: releived........ab inkito khair nahin.......
On the way back home........mom was dumb founded.....dad, silent and me the only one having thoroughly enjoyed the evening.......

Am not Miss perfect either but how would you expect to be a mismatch in real life.....when everone around is hell bound to lead life, king size. Am pretty hearty......hmmm.....on my various trips to delhi.....people always thought am a sikhni.........haanji....and punjaban auntiji' s favourite.....

So this Mr uncleji.........how could you imagine even in your deardest dream i could be your putrawadhu........whose half personality is your son........yes literally.....he could hide behind the attractive me........ha ha ha and be invisible.........

Mom: (still recovering)..... doctor itna patla sookha sa......tawbah......
tring tring tring.........phone rings.....nobody answers for days to come.....

Ha ha ha.......all and all my tryst with destiny sailing through pretty rough seas though......how many CA, chennai guys, quirky dentists, feline hoteliers to come.........to be fossilised in my blog.......

Just as mom and her never ending ordeal was continuing.......came Mr bhooley bichhde huae uncle, out of blue moon.......
tring tring tring.......Maasi: laala (mom fondly called)........you remember .....- - -bhai from - - -......

Mom: (memory chhaant ke ) haan kyun kai hua????

Maasi : he's a baba now......
Arre, no baba woh dadaji wale baba nahi......peer baba

Mom: haaaannnn......

Maasi: he's a very learned man now, respected, and has great following.......
hmmm.....par maasiji itna kyun bakhan kar rahi hai....

Maasi: babaji is a very busy man.....but has taken time off, especially for you......i have mentioned about uzma to him............he has just the right guy for her.......gem of a person. Ladka Germany mein hai.(foreignnnn tag)

Mom: Haan......
panting, not with joy but fear of losing me to a foreign land................when she fears interstate boundaries when in her sanity will she dispatch me to a different country...........

Maasi: Kadiwale Baba has told "leave everything to me now"

What!!! now divine intervention was needed.......O, God!!!  anything else has to be added??? .........make my life simple now.

My previous encounter with another certain "Baba" was rekindled, who made me drink some shit smelling naley ka pani,........ gave me some talisman to tie(which i never did),......... told me not to paint my nails again ,which i never followed (hah! i never leave my nails bare).

And i revolt to bow down to anybody exept my creator.......only he has the utmost right to nullify, modify or rectify my destiny.

Ieven refuse to be tied to a paper Mr Raymond........i want the complete man in flesh and blood.

On a lighter note........the lyrics from a versatile philosopher leave me to hum them forever.............and i tremble with a thousand thoughts.

"Hazaron khwahishen aisi ke har khwahish pe dam nikle,
Bahot nikle mere armaan lekin phir bhi kam nikle"

nearly mr perfect

Tujhse hi to mili hai rahat Tu hi to meri hai chahat Tujhse hi to judi zindagi
Teri yadein hai kuch adhoori Saans aadhi hai kuch hai puri
Aankhon mein hai kaisi, ye nami

Mera mann... kehne laga....Paas aake na tu door jaa
Choone de...honth tere...Zara saason mein apni basa!!!

Mann bahut kuch chahta hai, kabhi chand to kabhi sitaare..........
par falak mei rehne wale.......hum dharti ki dhool aap tak kahan pahonch payenge...

My parents search for a SIL has landed me on to blogger world.....thanks Mr perfect....you deserve this credit......am a writer now (???).
From quirky dentist to feline hotelier.....i 've known enough to compile my chronicles into "Men & mentality".  Yes a medico writing chronicles of shaadi..........

Away from crowning, syntocin, defib, AF ....no thats not Jaipur gems & jewels, its our regular medico mantras....jis ka jaap hum raat din karte rehte hai......juggling to & fro, life & dreams........

Dreams are what keeps the pulse on, heart to beat, brain to think, senses to tickle........sometimes they are weired & others lovely as hell.....but not all dreams see the light of the day......they are best to be left in the safety locker of mammillary body (part of brain concerned with memory).

As children we are spoon fed with the fantasy of prince charming riding on a white horse, who rescues the princess........we grow up hoping to find him one day........Mr perfect, in the picture perfect adobe photoshop facebook status......................

This damsel in distress awaits to end the ordeal of groom search..........

From the handsome dentist (hmmm) , just as i was thinking he's the one , bakra opened his mouth to mince words..........God he sounds like a girl. To the hotelier from Dubai.......( life to set hogayi yar) aisa maine mann mei socha tha.........phir janab ki photo ayi...........OMG!!! he's surounded with cats.......no no he's not Feline Steve irwing but has sent pics with his 3cats...........of which i could hardly see his silhouette.........

Tell me Oh Khuda! what wrong have i done to be in this selection committee.......i would rather be the player knocking out in the arena..........than be looking up at every other Tom Dick & Harry's profile.......

Wish i could hold on to breezy cold dreamy nights forever..... change has to happen and life moves ahead.
But i am stuck....fevicol ka jodh lagta hai....aisa hi kuch.

Mummy darling has'nt stopped searching, wakes up every night to check whether am on shaadi.com.......i quickly scroll back to shaadi....
Mom: hmmm... koi mila, please accept karlo....kitno ko reject karogi....rani roopmati

Don't laugh yes am Rani roopmati now, who rejects every other guy and finally ends up marrying a random jerk who shows one morn. Scary........yes dear parents are conspiring to tie me up and force me to utter KUBOOL HAI.

Mera shatir dimag bahut chalta hai ( aisa mai sochti hoon)....par ab sare nuskhey fail ho rahe hai....
If i had, only if....had dated ,cheated, flirted.... would'nt have to face this ordeal.......
But i have'nt....so uzma face kar, yahi zindagi hai....

Just as i think yes he's the one, pops up some cut out from no where......& God iirrrrrrrrrrr............ i get blamed for throwing away nearly Mr perfect...........

I would rather be single & enjoy my life & world, than be tied up to momma's choice betaji..........haanji mummiji...............

He's intelligent, smart, thinker, nutcracker, charmer, writer(A+), sensitive, sensible, orator, the perfect man of my dreams..................but am not made for him  - 

Tu hi bata aye dil tujhe samjhau kaise, Jise chahta hai tu use nazdeek lau kaise.

Yunto har tamanna har ehsas hai wo meri , magar us ehsas ko ye ehsas dilau kaise....................

& i fight with destiny not to end up with a paper Fan ( jo har jhonke par dagmaga jaye). 

"I did not find what I had been searching for............but on this pretext, I beheld the world.......

The one whom I searched for..........I did not disgrace you........

I myself became rependant; in this manner, I honored our vows of Love.

He whom i searched for............When I met him & where we separated, I don't recall.

Life, I only beheld you in dreams.........you from whom I searched.

What can I even tell you of my state? 

I reconciled myself to the lonely journey of life...........

I did not find what I had been searching for..........but on this pretext ,I beheld the world........

The one I had been searching for.........."

february blues & khayaal aapka

Thursday was rose day! the day after is #*@ day, ....+!?? day......14th is V day.
Not victory but vows day...the day after is cheeks slapped day, 16th burnt pocket day, 17th booze day, 18th rehab day.

When there's love, no month, no day of the year matters........love has to be felt everyday at every moment, every sight that your lover looks at you. It does'nt need a bouqet of red roses to remind how much you love her, but takes 20sec everyday to smile & say am there for you. Yet men ponder over 'what women really want??'

Well its not the diamonds, not the 6 yards, nor hidesign, nor redsole.......you think she eyes your fat pocket?
& loves to pacify herself with yellow metal & varnish. Think again, as much as you are longing to be heard, she loves to be heard for once too, she's not a silly nerd but loves to be appreciated for who she is & the effort she takes to make your life charming & normal.

Hey ,stop! for those of you thinking am a pissed off jerk, who hates valentine's day & hides in a pot of chocolate mousse, then stop. I aint hating anybody, its just the philosophical me bursting out now & then.
Well go out strike a pose, watch a romantic movie, dine, lie to your parents, empty his pockets, make him remember this day for years to come.

My never ending saga of finding "soulmate" is still on.....come feb 14th
With shaadi.com, JS, what not .com......to complicate matters....
Jerks with fake profiles, some hiding behind goggles, others covering receeding hairline with caps.........
God! tussi chunchunkar saare nikammon ko mere naseeb mein bheja hai.......

There are the momma's boys who are'nt grown up to write their own profile,keep your son with you then. Then there are the ones who can't afford to pay a 3000 for a paid membership.......& the hide & seek fellows......jack in the box types who panic on acceptance & hide profile. The imbecile morons, who dont reply to your mails asking personal details to move forward...........

This shaadi site is an utter waste of time & money.........

But i have to log on every fortnight on the orders of mummy dear to show that am interested in getting married!!!!!

I hate these men!
They are ruthless, emotionless, morons.......who want some new feature when you have everything bundled up in a single package........i aint talking about android or symbian.

But yet there are a few who just shake your soul up....& make you think- hmmm lucky her who takes vows with him...

He's a poet, thats how i came to know about his existance.........his poetry made me stay up entire night........
the next day i went back only to cry all the more again..........

No he' s not Dev D 2013 but a man of KHAYALAAT, whose Raat gave me sleepless nights, i then trembled over his thoughts.......only to realise by now that good men with sense & sensibility do exist.......in various shapes & sizes, in different colors & packages.

my favourite song & life moves on

I'am on my knees

only memories are left for me to hold

Don't know how, but i'll get by 

slowly pull myself together

There's no escape, so keep me safe

This feels so unreal

Nothing comes easily, fill this empty space

Nothing is like it seems

Turn my grief to grace

I feel the cold, loneliness unfold

Like from another world

Come what may, i won't fade away

But i know i might change

Nothing comes easily, fill this empty space

Nothing is like it was 

Turn my grief to grace

Nothing comes easily, where do i begin?

Nothing can bring me peace

I've lost everything

    i just want to feel your embrace.

and the quest is on..

Come january, the chilling winter , new resolutions, upteem goals set, smiling faces , yet there's a gloom........
The profound pain of another year ending in an unfulfilled note. Indian parents are born to worry, live with regret, spend oldage in prayers, nagging complaints. 

And what do they worry the most, for a son his job, apphrehensions about his career moves, bad choices in girls, bikes..for a daughter her marriage & eagerness for grandchildren.

Well there's no time for peace, a serene calm moment, when a lot is at stake.

The year was a roller coster ride for me, a Jack sparrow adventure....

This post is specially dedicated to the october guy-
From the lot number of shaadi connections that my dear parents have made, came calling a doctor from Chennai... so its the chennai guy. After the initial phase of profile exchange we decided (parents) to meet at a common location.

The sunday morn we met in his hotel lobby..........
I was at my best ( well they were heads rolling & few glances).
He lead me to the lobby in a gentleman way....ladies first.

Showed his upbringing....well mannered (A+)

Chennai guy : Am a consultant in a multispeciality hospital & you are a resident.
Me : yes i am (mann to chhah rahatha ke nursery ki first class loon, tameez mai)

Chennai guy : My parents are blah blah blah....family is blah blah......
Me : _____________pause ( profile mey dekha hai, pause wala button kahan hai)

Chennai guy : i wasted a sunday, its a leisure day for me. you know i go swimming in evenings, but its on hold today. Had to catch a 5am flight.
Me : *@# ( what the f_ _ k)

Chennai guy : my job is very hectic, i dont know what else to do.
Me : hmmm....

And he went on & on explaining his hospital mortality rates, patient input, medico legal suits.....infact he spoke about everything else exept the reason why i agreed to meet him after much pursuation.

I was there trying to hide my laughter behind a fake cute smile.

There were 9 rings in the cushion pattern ( thats what i was actually doing, staring at the innate objects).
By now he was exhausted & i was drowning (Oh great Lord!, where are you).

In short we spoke (he) everything under the sun....

Men are really difficult to understand, he didnt know what he was looking for....male version of  "Alice in wonderland".

Surprisingly, the parents were sweet, polished, warm & friendly. The dad in particular, i got to know more about him than the son himself.

By now i had realised what a bad date means.......

So guys here are the turn offs for girls-

1. False ego boosting is an absolute no in the first meeting....(we know u, the make up is just a mask, i carry a head on my slender neck).
2. Detailed job description is a taboo ( i have done my homework, linkedin is on my toolbar).
3. Family heritage ,geneology is a turn off (i have a garden, i know what trees are).
4. Unpolished shoes - yack (i know you trek).
5. Dude where's your perfume ,you are out of the league ( you will fade from my memory with the morning toast).
6. Forgot to compliment for her looks, Oh good Lord,save him (3hrs of shower, 3+ hairdo,3+grooming to look simple, fool you are blind, imbecile).
7. Order food of her choice, pass the menu card (i hate your bitter coffee).
8. Momma's boy, stop praising your mom (she's my sworn enemy by default, the ownership should be 50:50).
9. Your ex' , am not interested (i know your relashionship status, wanna move on or cling to the cliff forever).
10. No cricket please (God ,11 fools running for 1 ball & another 2 chasing it).
11. Be straight, admit your sexual orientation (no timepass for family prestige, PLZZ)

After all the pros & cons, i realised he was'nt interested not just in me, but any of my female clan. You know i just met a gay prospective groom, who has'nt mustered the courage to admit it. 

And like a fool i was finding defects in my apprearance, costume.....at one point the thought of not getting a second glance or a good bye smile sunk my morale to rock bottom altitude.

I am a head turner, yes i admit it, at times guys ask my number in exams, well not where & from whom i expect from. 

Looking back, it was an unforgettable awkward situation which i will remember for long, with the word Chennai.

Hence my parents now hopped to the next profile in waiting (jise maine bahut wait kar waya tha).....

It started sometime back before the Chennai guy, the mbbs fellow, i was'nt interested in him either.........so i shot an email requesting him to reject me as i could'nt ( by now all my efforts had drained).

The next morn he was supposed to be at my door step (A/C my parents),poor chap, judiciously followed my mail.......

But my parents did'nt stop at it so momma rang up........

tring tring.........hello.......they replied asking my opinion.......

By now dad realised dear putri has done some homework............

Parents are always right..(hmm.. thats what they think).

I got a class on manners, ettiquettes , morale, prestige, values........& spanking by now that mbbs fellow's true colours were out.........he had told about the mail to my parents.....

The first rule of trust was broken.....but yet his family was somehow interested in me........(for reasons known to them).

So i ran (yes literally), to my best friend for help, to stand on my own two feet (yes!!!!).

the adventure continues..............