shaadi.com

Hmmm.....can never read a man's mind. Its 12am and am hooked on to my lenovo Y510, pondering over this mundane phrase "men are from Mars and women are from Venus".

Having spent peak years of dating era (thats what i call) dissecting cadavers, taking clinical history, soaking in Hutchison's, Harrison, Shaw's, Park n Park, Nelson, our very own Shenoy, arrey P J Mehta yar.......NO they are not my long list of exes......(which i wish were true) but a few of medical gospels.

In short spent my desi jawani burning night oil when others were texting love notes.

Boring as it sounds.....the next few years were spent hopping places, the great Indian medicos struggle starts here......right after MBBS. PG entrances and numerous mcqs.....my mom hated me for being a doc.

No guesses, am a bad bad daughter does'nt really listen to her....just as an ideal indian girl would do get married to a guy of your parents choice, ok then give good news in a month. Wow! mission accomplished ..No i did do the former but destiny had a twist.

So now am quite a late entry though.......for my mom this is a panic.
The great Indian shaadi hub..

Was successful in avoiding rather running away from marriage all these years, but No not any more.
 Reason- i've got a deadline "this month end".

So then i seriously start searching for guys , sounds despo hain?

You guys have no idea of my ordeal...............jispar betey wohi jaane....

Hence am registered now on shaadi.com ( a year by now), jeevansathi and not to forget the trusted shaadi ram ghar jodey (the biodata, photo wala).

After having spent almost 10k on memberships in shaadi.com........am yet to find my Gerry aka Gerald Butler.

My mom would dutifully sit next to me every night just to make sure i dont go astray and log on only on shaadi.com........warning facebook, twitter, Bit torrent is a waste of time.
So then we glance at all the interests received..........to be precise 550 by now- 15 shortlisted, 12 accepted........the rest REJECTED.

Mom:  what do you want in a guy........prince charming........ab in mei say to select karo
Ok accepted........then chat.......give your number.....talk to him
Me:NO

Mom:  fine marry over my dead body........
God do all arguments have to lead to death.........the most powerful tool of emotional blackmail.

Then the next morn a review of the recycle bin (500+ guys)

This is definitely every other girl's ordeal......
Mom:  that guy you rejected, he's earning  $$$$$$$$$...owns blah blah blah...holidays in blah blah
end-now is dad to the cutest son on earth.

Note:  the list is never ending.

So are my expectations any different........an educated (atleast a degree more than mine), independent, confident, groomed, cultured handsome guy. Who loves art has a passion for life, shares my views, loves nature, is dynamic not stagnant. And has decent looks......wiith a handsome savings.

To my mom these are unacheivable targets.........so she shoots an email or two to guys who fit her criteria without my know how.......of course with the help of my eager cousin.

The mission now is "`Uzma' ki shaadi karao".

Its the toughest job in this world.............finding a soulmate..........some are handsome idiots, others padaku
Einstein (literally with the hair do), money mongers, spammers, God then there are the despo types- give your yahoo id  (call me,call me types).

All and all am kind of mastering the art of character profiling..........hmmmm can easily join Psychiatry dept.

Well the search is on and seems never ending.........phone rings
Mom: hain jee(in sweet tone) meri ladki hai.......mera email id lelo aur biodata, photo bhej deejiyega.
Guy's mom: hain hain mera ladka ********* is the bestssht  jee......ok main mail kar doongi details.....he is ******* earns ********* got this rank ******* in 10th......................

This happens 4-5 times in a days.........

And my ordeal never ends..........

Mom:  mail check karo.......Kya! pasand nahi aya........theek thak tho hai........hain toda kala hai par......naata bhi hai....... par accha kamaata hai. Tu tho doctor hai fairness cream......facials sey accha lagega.
Me:  NO ,main koi fashion show ya film nahi banane wali hoon.........par thoda mere khayalaat se milte julte bhi hona chahiye na......

Mom:  jab engineer ka proposal aata hai tho bolti hai masters doctorate hona chahiye......aur doctor hai tho,specialist nahi hai...........main mar kyun nahi jati.....

Basically its not the number of degrees or the professional stream they are into, but the click in personality............the missing link...........the compatibility quotient...............God if marriages are made in heaven, then why this mess.

OMG please make my life simple...........

So my mom and her quest are on, i mean literally even now in her dreams...........
Am off to sleep now.........C ya in my next post

Someone somewhere is made for you

Someone somewhere is made for you, very catchy line......, can't get it out of head. Just wondering how many of us still beleive in it though, nice line to be said when u have a sour heart. 

Though i did beleive in it years ago as a teenager, the tender feelings, the innocent thoughts, those where the years of dreams. There's this Peter pan in all of us that never lets us grow, still clinging to the idea of the "soulmate" thing, the complete man/woman. 

What makes a relationship complete, is it the loving, caring, understanding old punch line or in today's timeline "the compatibility quotient". You can be poles apart, share different interests /likes/dislikes, yet could be one skin together.

Always wondered how people in inter-racial relationships live n be in love, or inter faith unions work. And yet the scenario of arranged marriages with all the open commitment & vows fall apart.

I've known a friend of mine, who loved this guy immensely right from the first day of college, 4yrs of togetherness was everything for her, when they parted ways it seemed end of life for her. Yet she's happily married with a total stranger now though.

So is it the experience from past relationships or destiny that decides a blissful relationship, or is it that the person made for you just happens to bump into you at odd phases of life.

As someone wisely said........

"Before you grow up you must fall in love  3times.....

Once you must fall in love with your best friend, ruining your friendship forever,

this will teach you who your true friends are, n the fine line between friendship 'n more.

Once you must fall in love with someone you beleive is perfect. You will learn, that no one is perfect, 'n that you should never be treated as anything less than you deserve.

And once you must fall in love with someone that is exactly like you.

This will teach you about who you are.....'n who you want to be.

And when you are through with all that, you learn that the people who care about the most are the ones that you hurt....!!!!

'n the ones that hurt you are the ones that needed you the most...." 

A hit n run scenario, just when you think you have found that someone special you realise your folly or just missed the bus....or  waited too long for the decisions to be made.

We learn from our mistakes and the choices we make have a lasting impression on our future,'n there's nothing more special than to still beleive in LOVE even with a broken heart for that someone special to mend it, accept you completely....

Then how do we know who is that someone made only for me is.......

If  someone  wants to be a part of your life, they will make an obvious attempt to do so........to love you ,accept you for who you are, with your flaws without wanting to change you. 

And the one who loves you for need is not the one, need is greed. And when greed creeps in relationships go sour, so let yourself loose, love just happens when you least expect it to 'n at odd unexpected places.......hhmmm.......well then destiny 'n time  decide when you meet that someone made for you......

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